Family troubles ahead.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I visited my family. To my dismay, I learned the second oldest of my sisters (mind you I am the oldest child of my family household and being the only male with four younger sisters) has illegally been doing drugs and illegal substances. (My second sister had not been in the house at the time of my visit until much later in the day) I honestly did not know what to do as my mother, father and the oldest of my sisters yelled over each others voices to inform me of my second youngest sister's drug habit.

I have felt that this was my fault, perhaps she (my second sister) felt far more depressed than what I have originally been told and thought ever since my departure to study across California and the recent death of my grandfather. "Maybe", I thought, "it was a way to escape the pain". I had to talk to her to see what had been happening to her.

We spoke to each other in her room for what felt the entire day (which was really two hours tops) and I did not lecture her. I wanted to learn more about her, what mentality has she developed, or picked up from her peers that has made her behave in this manner. I wanted to learn as much as I could about my most beloved sister who my mother thought was the strongest of her daughters. My heart felt as though it wanted to break, hoping that my sister was not a completely lost cause, that there is still an opportunity to bring her back and encourage her to try at least a bit harder to communicate to my parents.

Throughout our conversation I asked her many times, "if there is anything you would not want me to tell mom, please tell me - stop me, or if there is something too painful that you do not want to fully share, then let me know and we'll see if we can come back to it later on".

I sincerely hope my sister makes a stronger initiative to better her life for herself. I love her too much to allow her to corrupt her life.

Despite the blaring reality of her issues, I was so happy she had not been killed by gang-related violence, and I hope she never has to suffer the indignity of dieing in the streets like an abandoned animal.